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.............Yeungkwan Kim(Korean novelist).....................
Now The time is 2010.
I was born in Korea 1960.
so little like an ant.....
and in 1970 I was 4th grade at elementry school in Korea...
a little poor house was mine......
in 1980, I was the suphormore of the hankuk university...
so lonely like a bird...
in the year 1990,
I was a married man, and a lecturer to teach a language to the
university student.. so not good as you think...
And my daughter was born this winter, so smart until time,
As soon as she was born, she watched me up brightly with her beautiful
dark eyes!!
in the year 2525, no, 2000,
If I were still alive, I would be loney again...
In the year 1961...
I was one year old boy...
so nice.. that dsys...no. it was not, I think..
why? because...you think, please..
I do not know....
In the year 1971..
I was a 5th grade elemently school boy, a little shaming....
not singing well...
In 1981...
I was in the university, junior, but I had to go to army...
it was a duty to all Korean men.....
IN 1991..
I was still a lecturer of hankuk university... a little powerful man
to teach.. but no feeling interesting at all.....
It was because of my nature? or the bad or the soecity, or
both of them?... I do not know well, yes, maybe both of them..
in the year 2001...
I am a professor of a university.. but not so sure....
because I am not so strong researcher....
If I am still writing a novel, I am fine......
Is this story intersting or not?
Me? so so...
If you were not, please do not read from here....
1962....
I was of course 2 years old.
I started to walk, and even run, not so fast..
But very cuty baby...
My younger brother was born this year, too.
so what?
Yes, I was not lonely, because there was a little animal
like me, my btothrer..It was good by itself.
In the year 1972..
I was a 6th grade middle school student, last grade in Korean
elemently school...
My voice was changed like the lion's barking...yes, the man's voice.
I was a good and very smart boy on the just the study!!
Do not you believe this?
Anyway you believe or not, It was the true score on the study!!
1982..
I was in the army. Korean military...
It was the duty to all Korean young men..
What a so sad and lonely autumn that year....
How cold that year, that army!!
I was the lowest class in the army, just GI....
One month ago, I was a loney student of Hankuk university, who
got the some money, some studying, some driking, some dating....
BUt from taht today, I was a miserable soldier of unfortune,
so hard to work and to fight and to train in the poor army...
Oh my god, remember me that years's pain...
But there was no way except enduring for 3years in the military....
In the year 1992..
My son was born, I was so glad to hear he was a boy!!
Koreans like the son...
But I loved all....
I was still teaching at the several universities in Korea,
poor money, so many hours I had to teach for living...
The year 2002..
I was 43 years old, if the time runs quietly.
What shall I be doing at that time?
so poor like this time, or fine with good and bright face?
But I can say only oen thing, I will still be the writer
to write fictions.....
In the year 1963..
Even though my home town Taegu was the third big city in Korea,
the city was so poor at that year, so my house was so too.
1973...
I had to go in to the middle school in Taegu.
Mission school, but I did not believe the God like my father.
And my mother was not also a christian, but a little believed the
Budda.....
But the school was so nice and got the good teachers.
I was very smart student, in the second or third level all of the school.
easy saying in Korean, 1-10/1000.
In 1983.
So hard training in Korean army, but I had to endure myself for 1 year
more at the military.
So cold and so hard...I always thought my family, father and mother and
my brother..and my home town.
In the year 1993...
My father died...
So good month April, do I remember that year and month correctly?
The father died...died...he was my father...
who love the stone and the trees, and ........
2003.
What?
1964....
I was 6 years old, Korean ages to add the born time.
Remember that this is a Fiction!! OK?
Who are you?
Why are you writing about me?
Do you know me well?
How do you know me well?
Yes, I know you well.
I am a Korean novelist Yeungkwan Kim.
So, I am writing about you.
Hey, Mr.
I do not want you to write about me.
Stop this!!
It's too late to stop this fiction, I think,
because now you are living in this fiction.
Am I living?
Yes, you were living in the year 1974.
You were a middle school student, to know girls.
So what?
Nothing happend in front of you.
Just you were gorwing bigger, pennis and the body...tall.
1984.
I got out of the Korean army. Yes I was a soldier, GI.
But now, I returned to school, Korean universuty, the junior.
I felt that I was a big brother with strong heart.
I studied hard more that the before.
In the year 1994....
I was still a instructor of Hankuk university, poor salary,
too very busy teaching job, I was getting tired at that time...
2004.
I am the 45.
Some young still, some old man...
I thought that at age 45, I would get the novel literature prize,
but now ......
I am not so sold writer, but just poor writer in Korea.
Would I be still the poor writer in 2004?
No, I can not think so....because I believe myself...
In 1965.
Korean was in the strong politic wind, the fire in front of the wind!!
President Park was the president of Korea.
But I was just 6 years old boy.
I think I went to the kindergarden at that time.
But I did mistake.
The woman teacher said " do not eat before the pray ended."
But so delicious, good taste ice-cream was on my table.
I ate just 1 sppon, no I think I watched it just a little.
But the teached took away my ice-cream........
I was going to cry out......
Oh poor child, and not so good teacher...
So I do not believe the god from that time!!
I am in the half despair and half happiness(I must think like this,
and try to do..)
1975.
I was a 3rd grade student of middle school.
I was tall at that time, even though now I am small....
I could feel and think the woman on my heart, why? because I
was 16 years old.....
The year 1985.
I had already ened my military duty in Korea, 3 years!!
And I had returned to my university, and I was a sinior
majoring in the literature.
My body was seen strong, But I had no a woman.
Sometimes I could meet Korean university student woman via
MEETING(Korean university students say it MEETING to meet and introduce
women and men each others).
But no women liked me, so I was in the deapair, lonely...
In the year 1995...
I was failing to test for Doctor degree of Literature at Hankuk
university 6 times!!!
I was feeling the despair, but I believed myself!!
But these days, I think that my desire was too much at that days,
even though I am still a poor novelist and lectuer....
2005...
I am now a professor of the university.
So hard and good days gone, and I am 46 years old.
I earned some money by my book and salary, and by accident...
I am living at the small country town, on the grass,
My son and daughter are playing, swimming, with dogs called JNDOGAE
and SAPSALI...
What a dreaming life this is!!
But we was always happy, I think so, and I must think so...
because there are really so many poor unfortune peoples in the world..
In 1966.
I could ride on a publis bus by alone, but that war was the start
of conflict in the soecity!!
Not interesting at all, just tired among crowed the men and women..
Why did I have to do like this?
Is it to be survived in the soecity?
If you said yes, I could not anwser,
Is it really survivng?
Oh, yes? Let's say so.......in the city...
1976.
I was at the first year of the high school, because the
6-3-3-4 was Koran educational system.
Unlike middle school, high school was so rough, so that I could not feel
the freedom of me and in the school.
The teachers were not good, bad, not good men, and some bad students were
somking at the toilet and driking at the dirty small bar aroud the school.
But I did not act so until that time.....
IN the year 1986........
I graduated the university.
But nothing happened, and nothing to do......
The year 1996...
I could be a novelist and emtered PH.D course and teaching the literature
at the university with part time job...
But I was not so glad, just feeling so so, not as everybody thought....
2006...
I earned much money, at last...
Some glad, some good.....
IN 1967..
I entered Korean elementary school, which was rich and so so....
My father and mother were so busy just to live with poor money.
They went in the morning and came back late, so I could hardly see
them. I was longing for their love......but there was no way, why?
because of just living and eating and clothing and heating up poor
house during the cold winter....
In the year 1977.
I was the second grade of Korean high school.
I cut off my hair very shortly , just 1 cm long, like Marine GI,
it was the of Korean high schoolat that time....
I shoul be so sad because of it, and I clothed black uniform like army...
and I was trained like the army training every week.
I know it is because of North Korea, but shoul all students be done like that?
I did not know well, too young to know the policy....
I rode on the bicycle or bus to go to the school....
The teachers were not so good, some good and some not good....
1987.
I was in Japan.
What a so lonely and bad year it was!!
I do not want to tlak about this.....
In 1997..
I was same like the year before, and the before...
Same man, not changed....I tried, and tried to be better...
But the soecity and bad leaders were not receiving the good.....
The year 1968.
My left arm was broken.
I was fallen from the tree....
1978.
I was the last grade of Korean high school.
I was not very tall, but I wanted to be looked like a man.
My hair was longer than the 1-2cm. And I washed my face and hair one time a day.
I began to smoke, learened to smoke and smoked back of the school wall.
I must go, no all Korean high school students wanted to go to the university.
I should study hard, 12 hours a day!!
1988...
I was the student of graduate school at university in Korea.
I did not want to be, but there was no choice.
I felt again lonely, and I was not healthy.
In 1998.
Ye, I was the man like the man 10 years ago....
I did not realize that The present time was the happy.....
I shoul know and tried to be good.....
But I did not...
2008.
At last I felt the happy.
and I was the 49 years old.....
I was famous in Korea and world because of novel prize.
I bought new farm house, it was big and good and calm....
If So, have I only searehed the fame and the money?
If without the fame and money, still I cuoild not fell the happy?
How bad I am!!
1969.....
I liked a soccer and baseball, I did well.
After the school, I was always playing that games....
I wanted to eat more icecreams, but it was expensive.
1979....
I was a freshman of university in Korea.
I smoked and drank much, so much, so I was not healty....
What bad and lonely days they were!!
1989.
I was married with a woman.
I was 30 years old.
I did not earn much money, but just a little doing part time job.
The year 1999.......
I was still in deep despair.
I was still a lectuer with poor money. and I was still writing a little
story in internet like this.....
I should think that I was happy, but should not....
And the year 2010 NOW!!
I am a 50 years old, strong.
Everything changed and nothing changed...
.......to be ended......
1999/8 Updated.....소설가 김 영 관
...자유로운 정신!! 정의!! 이것은 어떤 사람에게든 반드시 필요하다!!...
자유를 부르짖는 게 아니라 자유로운 정신이 인간에게는 보장되어야 한다!!
어떤 처지에서라도 자유로운 사고, 정의는 지켜져야 한다!!
인간을 말살하는 자들은 반드시 이 말을 명심하라!!
.....웃기지 말라고?
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